Burning Rings of Fire

Ahh, doughnuts... I realize that I wax hyperbolic about any number of treats in this forum (corn, cheesecake... oh, and pie, I suppose. Almighty king of cuisine that it is, after all.), but despite the fact that I have rather strong fondness for doughnuts as well, I've resisted attempting them for some time now. This is due to the very simple fact that making them from scratch scares me. There are few enough dishes that I'm unwilling to take on, and even fewer that I adore eating and still avoid, but doughnuts have resided at the top of that list since the idea first managed to lodge itself ever-so-gently in the back of my mind.

I have several reasons (or excuses, perhaps) for this irrational fear; after all, making home-fried doughnuts involves what would be considered a rather large amount of oil that burns like the fire of a thousand suns the moment it splatters onto my hand (as is, of course, inevitable when I do any amount of frying). Furthermore, I have trouble believing that I can surpass the culinary genius that I can experience firsthand in any donut shop for the meager price of ~$7 per dozen with any variety of sprinkles and glazes (not to mention fillings!). But perhaps first and foremost on my list of hangups with these doughy halos relates to the mass genocide of gassy little creatures that make all that is doughnut possible: yeast.

I've never worked with yeast in the past. It's one of those peculiar things that I read about, I understand (to some extent), and even have ready in my pantry--I simply never take that next step to start working with it. I suppose this is due in part to the fact that having never worked with these little bastards before, I really don't have a solid understanding of how to tell when things have gone wrong. With a steak, I can smell and see charring and know that I should reduce the heat. With brownies, I can see an overly-smooth batter and know that I'm going to be eating chocolate bread for a week. With chicken, I can just tell myself I'm going screw it up anyway so there's no sense worrying about it (at which point I make a quick trip to my local sandwich shop, hanging my head in shame. "Hi Shawn!" they'll say, "cooking chicken again, eh?" "Yeah..., just give me the usual.")

With yeast-dependent recipes, on the other hand, I know absolutely nothing, except that my recipe will never end up like the pictures I see online when I follow recipes stolen from others (hi Joy! I did try to warn you I'd be appropriating this one too!). And while I went into this experiment knowing that this was inevitable, I felt that it was time to conquer the fear. Glaring at my tiny packet of instant yeast, I ripped it open in one swipe, determined that I would be ruled by my emotions no longer.

... Naturally, my first opening attempt was a little overly-vigorous and I emerged coated in a fine layer of my would-be enemy. Grabbing a second packet and resolving to be on the lookout for more such trickery in the future, I set to work.

Yeast-Risen Doughnuts
(as "adapted" from Joy the Baker)

Ingredients
1 Package of instant-rise yeast
3 1/4c Flour
1c Milk
1/4c Room-temperature butter
3 Egg yolks
4tbsp Sugar
1tsp Salt
1/2tsp Cinnamon
1/2tsp Nutmeg*
1/2tsp Ginger*
1qt Vegetable oil

*I took some creative liberties with the flavorings, but as you'll see later, it really didn't make a difference.

Procedure
1) In a mixer bowl, mix the flour, yeast, sugar, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, until well blended. Note that since I'm using instant-rise yeast, it will theoretically work without giving it a soak in warm water. Subsequent experiments have shown me that while this is true, the rise is much faster if you give it a bath anyway. Tempermental bastards, no?

2) Once the ingredients are homogenized, add the milk, butter, and egg yolks and mix with a dough hook attachment until the mess comes together. Continue mixing at medium speed for ~5 minutes.

3) At this point, you are left with a highly attractive looking lump of dough:

Look at 'em... you know they're up to something...

4) Sprinkle the surface somewhat liberally with flour and cover the bowl with a towel. Set it in a reasonably warm place to start rising (I found that the top of the fridge worked perfectly) and leave it there for about 2-3 hours, or until it has approximately doubled in volume.

5) Sprinkle a countertop with a dusting of flour and turn your engorged yeast lump out onto it. Gently spread it with your hands into a rough circle.

6) Use a rolling pin to roll the circle into a larger circle until it is between 1/4 and 1/2 of an inch thick.

7) Using a pastry ring (or biscuit cutter, or ... um... a tin can or something), cut out doughnut-sized rounds. Use a smaller ring to cut out the holes.

I'm not sure how one would cut holes when using a can, but I trust you can figure something out.

8) Re-roll the dough as desired to get more doughnuts. It's worth noting that the second and third rollings will not be as light as the first batch unless the dough is given more time to rest. Since I'm impatient, I just cut them all at once and said to hell with it.

9) Set the freshly cut doughnuts (and holes!) on a lightly floured baking sheet to rest for about 30 minutes. Coincidentally, this gives you just enough time to start heating your oil in a large heavy pot or skillet. Be sure it reaches at least 350F (or ripples lightly when left standing still) before attempting to start frying.

10) After the oil has come to temperature, carefully drop the doughnuts into the oil, one at a time. Do not attempt to fry more than 3 at once or the oil temperature could drop lower than we want and create soggy doughnuts.

They start browning rather quickly. Be sure to watch them carefully.

11) After about 2-3 minutes, flip the doughnuts with a slotted spoon (or, even better, chopsticks!) and allow to fry on the other side for another 2 minutes.

It's rather easy to tell when they're done... they should really be doughnut-colored.

12) Remove the doughnuts using the same spoon or chopsticks and place them on a wire rack to drain and cool. Repeat steps 10 and 11 with the remaining doughnuts and holes.

13) Glaze with whatever you desire; I'd make recommendations, but I wasn't entirely pleased with how my glaze turned out. I'd recommend finding a recipe that sounds intriguing for that aspect and steal it from there instead. (I used the one from Joy, as borrowed from Alton Brown; it was tasty, but came out very runny and never really firmed up as much as I'd have liked.)

You can see right through the chocolate coating in this version.

This is after I refrigerated the glaze for ~20 minutes and re-dipped the doughnuts. Much better, but still too soft to the touch.

Lessons Learned
Emerging from my epic battle only slightly scathed (damn that oil!), I discovered that the fear had vanished in the surge of triumph. I had destroyed my enemy in classic fashion, allowing no survivors and only slight casualties as a consequence. Still, the yeast had the last laugh; my doughnuts tasted exactly like a loaf of bread, and only the glaze had any chance of changing this. Heavy doses of chocolate and peanut butter calmed the yeast's overpowering taste, but I could hear the bastards laughing all the way down. Next time, I'm making chemically-leavened doughnuts, and to hell with these damn microorganisms. I'll save them for breads and pizza.